For Halloween, Democratic Hopefuls Wear GOP Masks

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With the midterm elections less than two weeks away, it’s time for Democratic candidates to come out of the closet.

And admit they’re Democrats!

Democrats are in increasing danger of losing control of the Senate, and their candidates’ prescription is to pretend they’re not aligned with the party. As you likely know by now, Kentucky Democratic Senate candidate Alison Lundergan Grimes has repeatedly refused to answer direct questions about whether she voted for Obama. You’d think that the Democratic candidate might answer “Yes, because YOUR party ran ‘Mr. 99%’ Mitt Romney, and in 2008 led with John McCain and that know-nothing nutcase Sarah Palin,” but Grimes is going with “no comment.”

You get the impression she’d like to disavow being a Democrat at all. “It was a ploy! I was ‘undercover.’ I only ran as a Democrat so that I could defeat ‘real’ Democrats, so that in this election, you, the voters, could choose between two Republicans! The threat was that great!”

She and incumbent Mitch McConnell are battling over who is a more ardent defender of the coal industry, with both of them hurling epithets at the Environmental Protection Agency for protecting the environment! Where does the EPA get off doing that?

Grimes is far from an anomaly. Over in New Hampshire, Jeanne Shaheen, the incumbent Democratic Senator, finding herself in a neck-and-neck race against GOP candidate Scott Brown, has repeatedly made it clear that if Obama came to the Granite State to campaign for her, she’d conveniently take a trip to Vermont.

Some of these Democratic hopefuls are running two races: against their GOP opponent, and the Obama Marathon, to see who can run the farthest from the President.

It’s hard to imagine that it’s less than a scant two years since Obama was decisively re-elected, soundly whipping Romney, including carrying the aforementioned New Hampshire. Somehow, in the ensuing period, in which the Affordable Care Act has taken effect and proved to be a resounding success, the unemployment rate fell to under 6%, its lowest rate in 6 years, Obama’s support of gay marriage helped transform the landscape, and he’s finally taken significant actions to combat climate change, to name a few positives, his popularity has plummeted.

In the interest of fairness, there are a few people running towards Obama. But the Secret Service tackles them once they scale the White House fence.

It’s a variation of an old song. While Democrats can barely utter the name of their leader, the Republican field’s motto is “Embrace The Crazy.”

In Alaska, GOP representative Don Young told a group of senior citizens that the rising suicide rate in Alaska is due to Alaskans receiving government hand-outs that made them feel useless. Ironically, he’s known as a pork barrel king for regularly directing government aid to the state.

Peter King, a NY GOP representative, is calling for “all-out” surveillance of Muslims in America, in effect labeling an entire religion as a terrorist group.

Another King, GOP representative Steven from Iowa, said he doesn’t expect to see any gays in Heaven.

That’s just idiocies from this week!

Earlier this year, Joni Ernst, the Iowa Republican Senate candidate, released an ad pointing a gun at the camera and vowing to “unload” on Obamacare. Previously she told the NRA, “in Iowa I believe in the right to defend myself and my family — whether it’s from an intruder, or whether it’s from the government, should they decide that my rights are no longer important.”

All I can say is, I’d hate to be sitting next to her in the U.S. Senate the first time a committee chairman tells her she’s exceeded her time limit and has to sit down and shut up.

Maybe the Republicans should just skip the middle-man and nominate a Smith-Wesson automatic to fill the seat. “I’ll keep myself pointed at the politicians’ heads! If I lose, they’ll run me out of Washington! I’ll never stop shooting my mouth off!” The gun would win in a walk.

Yes, I know it’s risky to “come out” and admit who you are. But Democratic candidates: take a tip from your GOP counterparts, who proudly spout nonsense, and are only emboldened by the ridicule they receive. Take a bold leap:

Admit that you’re a Democrat and you voted for President Obama. And let the electoral chips fall where they may.

 

About Stan Sinberg

Stan is an award-winning newspaper columnist, radio commentator, and features writer whose humor has appeared in everything from the NY Times to WSJ and MAD Magazine. Stan is a native New Yorker living on the west coast. His website is www.stansinberg.com and you can email him at stan@stansinberg.com or follow him on Twitter @ssinberg1
Posted in: Politics