The Hillary Makeover



ABC’s Diane Sawyer Interviewed Hillary Clinton on TV last week and it seems Clinton is playing coy with the American public as to whether or not she’ll run for president in 2016. And before she even throws her tote bag in the ring, comments are already being tossed about that she’s old and infirm. PEOPLE mag was criticized for its recent cover of Clinton which seems to make her look like she’s leaning on a walker. Republican pundit Karl Rove inferred in May that Clinton’s 2012 concussion might have cost her some brain cells, and on “Meet the Press” Sunday sore-loser Mitt Romney – who said he will not run again – called Clinton clueless, like a bully throwing rocks from the safety of his porch.

Here we go, girls, the anti-feminist baloney begins. Is Clinton’s age the real reason she shouldn’t be president? Or is it that she’s a girl, plain and simple, and the boys in the women-haters club don’t want her ruining the sanctity of their all-boy locker room. When President Obama became president, he broke the White House color barrier; now it’s up to Clinton to break its gender barrier.

Just like the “Little Rascals” TV show back in the day when Spanky and Alfalfa refused to allow girls in their clubhouse, a similar banner – albeit an invisible one – hangs over the White House entrance. If Clinton runs, it will be the first time since Geraldine Ferraro ran for Vice President in 1984 – which was 30 years ago – that women will be close to putting lavender curtains and a teal shag rug in the Oval Office.

In order for this to happen, Clinton is going to need a makeover. I’m not saying she should change into Jennifer Lawrence or Cher, but if she wants to be Madam President, Clinton’s going to have to show America she wears Nikes under those pant suits. She’ll need to take a long hard look at her image and think about what has to change so she doesn’t come off like Grandma Posey who knits little cat sweaters. I’m talking a makeover that involves some gutsy decisions.

If I was Clinton, I would hire an all-female staff like “Charlie’s Angels” and women bodyguards, big muscular amazons who pack a punch faster than it takes to pack a lunch. And she should definitely choose a woman running mate for Vice President, a real smart gal like Supreme Court Judge Sonia Sotomayor. Can you imagine how that would blow everybody’s mind?

I can tell you right now, things will be very different if we have Clinton leading an all-woman administration. When it’s “just us girls” women often talk about how the world would be better if we ran things. That’s right men, that’s what we really feel. Being the “second sex” all these years has made us much better at reading between the lines and negotiating for what we want. We know kicking sand in some guy’s face is just stirring up trouble and we’re not trigger-happy or quick to blow things up to get what we want. How do you think we influence men to get down on one knee and ask us to marry them when they’d rather have their freedom? Trust me, we’re that good.

Clinton told Diane Sawyer she’ll decide in the fall whether or not she’s going to run. I can only speak for myself, but deep down I hope she says “yes” and goes for the gusto. Not only will she be making history, she’ll be giving women everywhere the peacock feather in our cap that tells the world look out! That presidential glass ceiling is about to explode like a soprano hitting high “C” in a light bulb factory.

Isn’t it about time we get a shot at being the Big Kahuna?

About Sally Deering

Sally Deering is an award-winning reporter, columnist and playwright whose plays and musicals have been produced in New York and Chicago. She writes features and blogs for the web and recently completed her second book, a crime noir mystery. Sally lives right outside New York City. Contact her at:
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